Dear Ep and Annie, Annemarije, Stefan, and Gerda,
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| Foto genomen op 05-08-2010 |
Thank you for the link to the service. I listened to some of the things they have there, and it's quite incredible. I am so glad we will be able to "be there" with you! The announcement card came yesterday - beautiful! The Blog and Face book are really helping those of us so far away. Thank you!
Please know that you are in my heart every minute of these special, heart-wrenching days. I love you! I often want to pick up the phone, Annie, but I don't know if I should. Is your home full of people these days? Too full? Too empty? Some of my family came from out of town (when we lost Tanner), so there were always loved ones (other than Louis and Marieka), for each of us to talk with, run errands, help make plans, handle the phone, play with Marieka... We, too, had a long waiting time between his death and the service. I remember being so busy planning and organizing - it was only in the early morning hours or late in the evening when my cousin and I could have quiet time together. People may not know when to be there and when to give you space - so ask for what you need. Also, you need to do what's right at each moment for YOU! Each of us handles loss differently and must be allowed to follow our hearts. It was important to me help prepare Tanner, and I was glad I asked if I could. They said many do. Louis and Marieka didn't want to, but each person should be allowed to follow their heart. Some of the Moms in my Maternal Connection group regretted not having the opportunity to even decide.
Louis, Marieka and I later attended various support groups and activities through the Hospice group. The expression of grief through art and music was especially helpful. Being with people who shared your specific type of loss was amazing.
I hope you understand that my advise comes from my heart, and I'm not trying to give orders. I love you!!!
Love, Cherie San Diego USA
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